RATATOUILLE

Do you believe that Human Beings are rather capable ? I don’t believe then but I do now

I used to spend lavishly on most of everything without feeling the pinch merely because in one hand I am clueless the importance of money and on the other I am afraid that tomorrow might not come for me, so what I did basically is living my life to the fullest everyday so that I will not have regrets and if tomorrow never comes the very least I won’t leave the world with falling faith.

Simply because I am a woman so I rightly think that women have the tendency to spend more then men. I always built up all sort of excuses to make myself feel better so that I won’t be feeling so guilty of keep on spending.

I shop for clothing that I barely wear, some were still with the priced tag intact and some I totally forgotten of having them just for the sake of buying yet keeps on buying more I thought I already living up to my expectation, I thought I am supporting the economic growth then one day something bad had happen the crunch came for me that had underpin the motivation to further develop my life and loss of interest in things that previously gave me pleasure SHOPPING. I was having trouble sleeping, I sleep all the time my appetites were absent or excessive often wish I was dead.

I am not gonna go into details of what had happened because I have left those nightmares behind as I already locked them up in my heart somewhere and throw away the keys*Grin*.

My senses has ignited when I came out of “the cold” I am completely a change person I am no longer thinking shopping is the ONLY way to get by life or the only way that that makes me happy. Those were probably some ambiguous nonsense I made up to self-convinced then, so for whatever the coulda,woulda shoulda it doesn’t matter now….

Both of my “clown” friends (not a sense of despise here) I named them that because they are rather entertaining the very least they got me to smile or laugh because *of all the forms of courage, the ability to laugh is the most profoundly therapeutic) along with jokes and all. BTW “clown” is our secret code we shared among us. They have a few queries flying somewhere in their mind wonder would all these changes will eventually got me KILL they wonder is this going to be a blessing or a curse? Then I said to them, it is going to be all good accompany by teeny weeny bit of bads *Grin* that’s only I am allowing it.

Having the satisfaction of playing my own destiny and faith in my hands are rather liberating I can decide to be happy or sad whatever, whenever, or wherever so long as I am not in a life threatening situation I will opt to be happy. I am usually happy though.

Message to dear Ashley (pardon me that I have to post my heartfelt speechy here because I don’t have your e-mail address) AHEM *clearing my throat* so here goes …

Ashley, I know you probably think you are ugly but you are NOT, you are a very sweet, lovely yet helpful person (aite up till this point I must stress that I am not a bit shit of intend to patronize you because I have to be responsible of what I said) your post reflect your persona best I often read with green of envy I adore your top notch English compare to my beaten up ones. Don’t think that people are picking on you, you should think that (they must have liking me too much)? *Grin* you know my dear out greatest strengths are our greatest weaknesses and one of the things that make us “human” is the ability to contemplate the future, if we are to bear the awful weight of time with grace or acceptance, we have to come to terms with the losses that life inevitably imposes upon us. So be bold and mighty forces will come to your aid I have no doubt of it. Consider yourself lucky enough to be made compared to a pot of “plant” imagine the world without plants see how “noble or important” plants are to us human beings *wink* ….geezz I wish that some one would crown me that instead of “cheesy ole cheese” …..hahahahaha, so chin up and walk tall my dear because you are just lovely *grin*

People pick on me all the time, i.e. how come you don’t have branded goods? You are too fat, you are a pig, you are too slim, you talk too much you put too much makeups on etc (now with all these gave me hell of the reason in the world to just break their legs or severed their heads but I often think that ehh no bad huh you people are actually paying a lot of attention to me, makes me feel so important hehehe….I feel honored simply I think well hell with what they say long as I get to buy whatever I want *mostly cheap stuff* then I am rich already who cares what I put on? It takes more then just that to rattle my cage ohh…

Now that I am out at “Kofi-Bin” with my 2 clown friends, they both said I am full with shit ….I want them to reconsider/restatement of what they had just said. It was those “shitty-shit” you guys once thrown at me that keeps me alive and kicking……so hoover it !! LMAO……hahahahaha

I concluded this as in every life there is a drama…..and this is just one of the gazillion episodes.

Elyn